HR Humor

A bit more humor before we return to "serious topics":

Actual questions that candidates asked during interviews:

"What is your company's policy on Monday absences?"

"If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take a drug test?"

"When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?"

Source: CareerBuilder.com

HR Humor

OK-most of us are back to work after (3) days off, so it is time for some humor to start the week off on a positive note:

Actual responses to questions asked during job interviews:

"Why should we hire you?"....."I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time."

"Do you have any questions?"....."Cross-dressing isn't a problem is it?"

"What are your weaknesses?"....."I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won't get mad at you."

Source: CareerBuilder.com

HR Humor-The Baloonist-Part 2

"Well," said the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Need I say more?

HR Humor

A man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost. He reduced his altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

Stay tuned..... :0)

HR Humor

"HR Speak":

Profit-Sharing Plan-"Once it's shared between the higher ups, there won't be a profit."

Competitive Salary-"We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors."

Self Motivated-"Management won't answer questions."

Source: The Freeman Institute

HR Humor

Since we are in a recession, resumes are pouring into e-mail "Inboxes". Think twice before hiring anyone who puts statements such as the following on their resumes:

" Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

Source:The Freeman Institute

HR Humor

"Put several prospective employees into a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them
without any instruction and check back on them in two hours:

The ones that are sleeping.... they are management material.
The ones that do not notice when you walk in.... place them in security.
The ones that have left early.... put them in sales.
And the ones that are talking to the chairs.... assign them to human resources."

Source:The Freeman Institute